End of 2nd Semester

HALFWAY TO MY RN!!!!! I cannot believe it!!

So my second semester is finally over. Wow, what a long ride. During my last test, I looked around the room and reflected back to my summer class when we would take tests in this room. I knew most people's names, but did not know most of them that well. When I looked around the room this time, it was much different. We had all made it that far. We have had all of these experiences together - some very different, but nonetheless - all together. Unfortunately, we are now down 2 classmates. One failed adult health and the other decided that this program wasn't for her. The others are still pushing through.

I ended the semester with all A's, so that was a big relief since I had been rather worried. My psych/mental health nursing actually ended up being my highest grade out of the 3 classes. The final eval went well and she was really objective so no worries there. She was right on point with some of the things she said about me (VERY organized, worked well with kids, sometimes overanalyzing, etc). :)

I'm happy that we now have a 5 week break so that I can just have fun, relax, party, visit with friends and family, etc. It's cool too because my cousin just had her baby today - Reese Cameron - 6lbs 10oz. :) I can't wait to see the precious girl!!!! It makes me even more excited for my classes next semester again.

Reflection

"When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom." Proverbs 11:2

"Love does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud." 1 Corinthians 13:4

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment...instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." 1 Peter 3:3-4

"We all have different gifts, according to the grace given us." Romans 12:6

"See ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you." Matthew 6:33

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

Tonight, I was feeling kind of down, stressed, worried, etc. so I opened a book that I have filled with Bible verses. I found solace in these as I read them. Today was the last day of class. All I have is 2 finals left - however - I have a lot of studying left to do for these. I'm stressing out, but I just could not study with all these thoughts running through my mind.

I had my adult health eval and it went pretty well. I got an A - barely - but an A's an A right? She just graded more strictly than I thought. When I asked her about it, she did not really have a solid answer as to why I got what I did in the different categories. Hmmmm. This is why it can be so frustrating - it seems as if the grading in clinical can be really biased. The professors have different experiences, styles, philosophies, and expectations. I'm worried about my psych eval because of this. I know that she is going to try and be objective, but at the same time she is going to put her judgment into it. I'm not sure I trust this at times. It's hard because some of the other people in my class say that she likes me - others say that she doesn't like me. To put it lightly - I've worked my ass off in there and my eval/grade better show it. At the same time, I think that I should not go in with too high of expectations because then I just get mad when I don't do as well as I thought. It's just a weird situation.

Back to the messages/themes behind the Bible verses - I really need to work on not comparing myself to others in my class. We are all so different and have all of our own strengths/weaknesses. It is just really difficult because I see all of these awesomely nice, smart, kind, witty, wonderful people everyday and I'm like....wow I seem kind of lame compared to them. I need to work on seeing my strengths and being thankful for the things I have been given. I would also like to be patient and let everything come in time. In a way, I need to stop trying to have such control on my life. I wonder about what I will be doing, what I will be good at, where I will live, what will be happening to me in the future. I want to take it slower and not THINK so gosh darn much. It stresses me out too much.

I am just ready for this semester to be over. Like I have said before - I have been going to year-round school since Spring 08. This break will be good for me to have a little fun, relax, not study, read some books, etc.

Growth

I really can't believe that this is our last week of classes then next week is finals. You can see by my lack of posts that it has been crazy. (posts Aug-6, Sep-5, then downhill from there). :) And today is the first of Dec!!!

So its really nerve-wracking because in ALL 3 classes of my classes I am in between an A and B, so no slacking off but going balls to the wall for these last 2 weeks. I mean, I guess since I'm in grad school it doesn't really matter if I get an A or B, but just for myself it is so close that I want all As. I have my last test tomorrow in Adult Health and my skills performance also on Wed, then I will be done with that class. I have my final eval with my clinical prof on Friday - hopefully I did okay in that class. I then have the patho final next Wed. I cant believe that is in a week. Its a comprehensive final, so literally its like learn the whole body and what a nurse does with every disorder. WHAT?! :) I then have the mental health final which is also comprehensive. I feel like I havent had a comprehensive final in forever. Coffee and tea here I come!!

I have learned so much this semester its ridiculous. I look back and think, wow I have come a long way. This semester flew by, but also felt like I started it such a long time ago - since so many things have happened between now and then. I have become a more open-minded person and really take the time to care for people. I have always done that, but being in the position of a nurse, you really get the opportunity to create a bond with the pts (not all of the time). I had this one pt yesterday and she said, "You are going to make an excellent nurse. I know you will succeed and be great at it. I can just tell." I love being able to help the people, listen to them, talk with them, take care of them, etc. I might not like getting up at 5am, but when I am with the pts it makes it worth it.

I have really learned the most though in mental health. It has challenged me beyond what I am used to. I think a lot of this has to do with the professor pushing us to be better people and putting us sometimes in situations that we arent comfortable in so that we can learn through that.

I don’t know if you have ever heard of or read the website PostSecret (you should check it out if you haven’t), but one of the postcards on there today made me think about this semester. It said, “The first time I never sat alone was in the psych ward.” Just sitting there with the clients, listening to them, talking with them, playing games, whatever it might be really does make a difference. It might feel small sometimes, but to them it might have really helped. That is one of the reasons we were there. I am glad that what seems like a small thing at the time can really help and mean a lot. My prof said that one of the most important therapeutic tools is yourself. I have learned a lot about the power of this this semester.

As for now, I guess I better go study for my test tomorrow. Thanks to all of you who support me and also read my blog. :)